


Every Night

by BrowFlick92



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 18th Century, But in a way it's happy too, M/M, Quite a sad ending I guess, The name of the horse is important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 05:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrowFlick92/pseuds/BrowFlick92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every night he leaves his loving wife alone in their bed. Leaves to be with the one he truly loves...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Night

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd and first time poster! Please be nice haha!

His eyes sprang open and he looked around the room. It took him a few seconds to register he was awake. He could feel the stillness of the house around him, hear the deep, even breaths coming from the person beside him, and could feel that he was the only living soul in the house who was awake. He looked at the fireplace, where only the embers slowly burnt from what was once a roaring fire. The clock above read twenty-to-one in the morning. The time he awoke, every night.  
He rolled away from his bed partner and dressed in silence, two completely different, warring emotions inside of him. He knew which would win though; he knew where his heart truly lied. He placed his top hat upon his head and looked down at bed in which lay the sleeping form of his wife curled up, dreaming and unaware of her husband’s nightly actions. “I’m so very sorry, my dear Erica.” With that he turned on his heel and left her alone once more.  
Out in the paddock he found Eros’ stable and saddled him up. The feeling of guilt eating him from within was nothing new. The anticipation of what was to come began to overpower any other emotions. He mounted Eros and away they rode, into the cold, through the snow and darkness. They had taken this journey every night together since last spring. He knew they would find the way. The further he went the more the anticipation, happiness and pure joy overtook any lingering feelings of guilt. It was as though the guilt had been left behind, had taken his space beside his sleeping wife.  
Some nights the journey seemed longer. Thankfully tonight wasn’t one of those nights. As soon as he reached his destination he dismounted from his horse and landed with a muted crunch, disturbing the white blanket beneath him. He waded through the snow to stand east of the lake by the largest Oak tree. He looked at the initials carved into it. A light smile touched his lips, a silly thing to do, childish even. Yet he knew they would be there forever, and that’s exactly how long his love would last.  
Everything around him was silent and still and he revelled in it. This was his time. The only time that he was ever truly happy. He reached into his coat pocket and drew out the letter that started this whole affair. It was creased and fragile where it had been read so often, where it had been read each day upon receiving it. He knew it would for word but still read it again.  
 _“My dear friend,_  
 _I write this letter knowing what can happen to me if I am wrong about my guesses. I understand that it’ll ruin our friendship and also could result in my demise but it is a chance I am now willing to take. I feel as though I have now gained enough courage to tell you how I feel._  
 _You see, I love you. Not in the way God tells us to all love one another and not in the ways of friendship. Not even as if you were a brother to me. No, not that kind of love, but the other kind. It is the kind where I feel as though I simply cannot breathe without you. Where I feel the urge to see you every second of everyday and every night, and when I am apart from you I feel as though a part of me is no longer here._  
 _I understand that you are married and you don’t know what that does to me. Oh, how much pain it causes me. It physically hurts me knowing that you’re in bed with her every night. It is knowing that someone else is sleeping in your arms when all I want is it to be me. She is able to rest her head on your chest and breathe in time with you and watch your eyes flutter as you dream, when it should be me. Oh, how it should be me._  
 _The possibility of seeing your eyes, your smile is the only thing that raises me from slumber each morning. It is the only thing that I look forward to each day. When I bump into you accidently it makes thousands of butterflies erupt within my stomach and I don’t want to leave, no matter where I am going. I long to make you smile, to watch the way your eyes crease in the corners and the rest of it scrunch in the utterly beautiful way it does, so I try to make it happen whenever possible._  
 _I love how friendly you are, how considerate and charming. You make me happy, actually, genuinely happy when I’m with you. And I’m afraid I don’t know how long it’s been since I last felt that way._  
 _I long to feel your lips pressed against mine, just once. It is only once that I need to feel this and then I feel as though I can die happy. I may burn for it, but I’d be oh, so happy._  
 _I want to call you mine though. I want to be able to look at you and know that you are mine as much as I am yours. I just want you to feel about me how I feel about you. I know that it’s unlikely, but I live in hope, pure, blind hope._  
 _I love you. I am so very much in love with you. I dream of you leaving her and being with me. I know it’s impossible but I feel, no. I know, we belong together. It should be me that you fall to sleep with each night. Our limbs entwined and smiles on our faces. Oh, how I want that. How I need that._  
 _I need you._  
 _Even if this letter disgusts you I had to tell you. I just needed to let you know. If you feel at all the same way, then meet me, my love. Meet me in the forest by the lake. In front of the old Oak we used to climb when we were young. Come in the dead of night so we may be alone. Two in the morning._  
 _If you don’t feel the same and send people there to find me, I beg of you, please come with them. If only so I can see your face one more time, then I shall go to my death quietly._  
 _I love you so very much; I only hope you love me too."_

He sighed happily to himself, oh, the thoughts he had upon reading the letter for the first time. It was miraculous knowing he wasn’t the only one to feel that way. It was almost as though he could have written it himself. The next night he had taken Eros to the very spot he was told over half an hour earlier than the set time. The other was already there though and upon their eyes meeting the words “I was too nervous to wait any longer,” fell from the lips he had longed to kiss and the pair were upon each other. With confessions of love and adoration falling from their lips.  
He grinned at the memory. It had been a nightly arrangement ever since then and he didn’t think it was possible, but he was more in love now than when it had first started. He gently folded the letter back up and was in the process of putting it back into his coat pocket when he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the snow. He felt himself tense, both with worry, in case it was somebody unexpected and excitement in case it was the expected somebody. “Reading that bloody old thing again are we, love?” came the familiar voice. If he were to never hear another sound apart from that voice, he would feel as though this sense was not wasted.  
He looked up into the eyes of his lover, eyes that he knew far better than he could ever know his own. Love filled those eyes and he knew it filled his own in reply. He nodded, “Every night.” A small smile touched the other’s face.  
“I missed you.” The other croaked. “Every second we have spent apart since just last night seemed as though it lasted an hour. Oh lord, how I miss you each day.”  
He smiled at that and simply replied, “Well, I’m here now.” and opened his arms. The other spent no time hesitating and ran into his embrace. He ran his fingers through the other’s hair and kissed him as if it were their first and their last.  
“It’s killing me how we only get these few stolen hours with each other a night, I want, no. I need us to be together, always.” The other said once they had parted and were simply wrapped around one another, looking into the depths of the lake.  
“My love,” he replied “there is nothing else I want more in the world than to have you as my husband, but…” He drew in a breath “Maybe one day in the future it will be accepted for a man to love another man.” He wiped a tear from his eye and clung to the other tighter, “I can only apologise, darling that we are not in that time now.”  
The other took an unsteady breath as tears slipped silently down his face. He turned to face him and cupped his red with the cold cheeks in his palms. He couldn’t stand the thought of the person he loved more than he could ever begin to put into words feeling this way. He wiped his thumbs across the other’s face, swiping the tears away. “Don’t cry. I cannot bear to see you like this. I feel helpless. I want everything you do also.” He forced a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “If there were any way for us to be with each other always, I would leave my wife. You have to know that. You have my heart; you are the love of my life. She is nothing. She is simply a body that sleeps in my bed when I know deep in my heart it should be you. It should always be you. I know that this is getting harder and harder but my love; we both know we belong together so it will work out. I promise.” Tears were streaming down his own cheeks now. “I wish there were a way darling, just one option for us.” He embraced the other and gently kissed his cheek “I love you.” He simply said.  
“I love you too,” The other replied “More than you could ever know which is why I cannot ask of you what I want to.” He looked at the lake. “It’s wrong, and yet the only way I see for anything to be possible.” His eyes were still fixated on the lake, hardly blinking. He pulled the others face to out of the shadows and makes his eyes meet his own.  
“Tell me, if you’ve thought of a way for us, no matter what it is please, you must tell me.” He pleaded, grabbing the others arms and shaking them with desperation. He let go of one hand and stroked the others face gently. “You have to tell me.” He knew his eyes were telling the other just how much he meant this. He could feel the desperation in them himself. “Please?”  
The other looked him in the eye. The look was searching and was begging him to understand what he was trying to communicate. “You must know,” he whispered softly “Surely by now you must know. I’ve been thinking of it for so long. You must know.” The other pulled his gaze away and looked back at the lake. He followed his gaze and realization struck him.  
“You mean?” The other looked at him once more and nodded his head, just once. Of course. It made so much sense, and he himself had been thinking of the very same thing for a while, but he daren’t even entertain the idea. Though it was the only way he could think of in order for them to truly be together. And if this was the only option then of course he was going to take it. That’s just how much this man meant to him. He thought of his Erica. Yes, she’d be distraught with the knowledge that her husband had upped and left her in the dead of night, but he had to. “Okay, let’s do it.” The other agreed and together they climbed the tree with their initials engraved on, it was as if they were children again, although this would be the last time. They reached a thick branch hanging directly over the lake and he touched the others face. Every ounce of love he had for him was in that touch. “I love you, Stiles.” He whispered.  
“I love you too, Derek.” The other replied, and they took each other into their arms and jumped…


End file.
